we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
God, I missed his penis.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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