I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
