Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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