my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
