i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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