my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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