I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
