I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm going to jail i love you
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize