Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
you never un-have a 4some
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
