I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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