Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
