i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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