she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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