i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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