Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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