Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
