Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
