Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
