We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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