He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
