clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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