I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
