oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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