It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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