You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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