Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Gay?
German.
Pity.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
