ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize