Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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