It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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