anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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