What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
