I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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