Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
