I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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