I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
