Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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