We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
