The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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