How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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