that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
