if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I smell stomach acid.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
