babies were throwing up all over the place
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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