some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
