the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize