I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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