I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
