Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize