Plan B is the new Plan A
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
