Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Randomize
