I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
