I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
