we have pet lesbian snakes
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
