just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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