dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
