We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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