i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just forgot I was standing up.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
