I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
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